Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.