Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.

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  (248): ..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe. http://tfl.nu/gys8
  Replies (10) Good night (3041) Bad night (681)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.

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  (301): all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol. http://tfl.nu/ssjg
  Replies (11) Good night (3792) Bad night (814)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth

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  (313): you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth http://tfl.nu/33ft
  Replies (31) Good night (1932) Bad night (6234)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.

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  (920): The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap. http://tfl.nu/xkff
  Replies (8) Good night (600) Bad night (4340)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one

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  (580): Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one http://tfl.nu/xo36
  Replies (7) Good night (2893) Bad night (1208)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning

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  (843): i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning http://tfl.nu/dohz
  Replies (15) Good night (3803) Bad night (742)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3

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  (484): drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3 http://tfl.nu/7aa9
  Replies (5) Good night (3597) Bad night (741)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.

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  (609): Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there. http://tfl.nu/x13b
  Replies (5) Good night (727) Bad night (2053)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.

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  (251): I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time. http://tfl.nu/fcdx
  Replies (13) Good night (4164) Bad night (856)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.

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  (843): I like to think of it as a lesbian feast. http://tfl.nu/2rcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1540) Bad night (714)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it

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  (252): We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it http://tfl.nu/lox3
  Replies (3) Good night (1603) Bad night (587)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.

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  (503): there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose. http://tfl.nu/3zcu
  Replies (1) Good night (863) Bad night (444)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.

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  (713): She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience. http://tfl.nu/a6s4
  Replies (5) Good night (1732) Bad night (535)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Thanks for fucking me in last night

  (435): View more from Utah

  TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT

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  (435): Thanks for fucking me in last night (435): TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT http://tfl.nu/3wzm
  Replies (10) Good night (1491) Bad night (288)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?

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  (602): Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning? http://tfl.nu/jjtq
  Replies (2) Good night (350) Bad night (187)

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