you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.