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brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
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