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• (917): View more from New York City

  Um, that's called prostitution

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.

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• (818): View more from California

  we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.

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• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo

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• (626): View more from California

  AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN

  (1-626): View more from California

  we're fated to lesbian

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• (619): View more from California

  Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  WHO DOES THAT

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.

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