I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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