part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
