DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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