Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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