Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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