the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running