her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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