All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now