i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying