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I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
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