I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.