I'm an idiot
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.