I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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