This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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