so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
