We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize