Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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