Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
