He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
