the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
