I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
