Someone shit on the floor
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
