I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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