Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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