Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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