If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
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Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
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Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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