I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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