I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
