he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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