Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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(734): View more from Michigan

How was the bike ride?

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.

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(713): View more from Texas

As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..

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(903): View more from Texas

I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

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(438): View more from Quebec

Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?

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(613): View more from Ontario

I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!

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(647): View more from Ontario

Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.

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