Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz

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(541): View more from Oregon

She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.

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(415): View more from California

I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Why does my nose taste spicy?

(1-812): View more from Indiana

How do you know what your nose tastes like?

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