Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.