Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night