I'm jealous of your bromance
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
