You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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