i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
