Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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