I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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