I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize