been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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