Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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