Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.

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  (773): I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch. http://tfl.nu/99z3
  Replies (20) Good night (516) Bad night (1839) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it

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  (978): Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it http://tfl.nu/f2y4
  Replies (10) Good night (922) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.

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  (212): so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is. http://tfl.nu/r3y5
  Replies (8) Good night (738) Bad night (1364) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...

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  (412): You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this... http://tfl.nu/lqse
  Replies (19) Good night (679) Bad night (5098) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.

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  (803): When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3yj1
  Replies (10) Good night (5481) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.

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  (206): Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year. http://tfl.nu/dota
  Replies (4) Good night (2809) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this

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  (815): ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this http://tfl.nu/mfxc
  Replies (11) Good night (4518) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.

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  (937): And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/r7zp
  Replies (12) Good night (1072) Bad night (2933) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?

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  (248): Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain? http://tfl.nu/gohm
  Replies (10) Good night (2418) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.

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  (202): Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools. http://tfl.nu/n6n6
  Replies (12) Good night (826) Bad night (2079) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.

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  (757): and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion. http://tfl.nu/2944
  Replies (6) Good night (1164) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse

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  (602): hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse http://tfl.nu/qtc9
  Replies (7) Good night (2079) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?

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  (225): Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night? http://tfl.nu/sidd
  Replies (7) Good night (569) Bad night (704)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box

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  (703): He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box http://tfl.nu/9koo
  Replies (8) Good night (856) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage

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  (757): It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage http://tfl.nu/6fy5
  Replies (1) Good night (1093) Bad night (187)

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