It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
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I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
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Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.