The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
