Texts From Last Night

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  (563): View more from Iowa

  My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood

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  (563): My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood http://tfl.nu/k7f1
  Replies (1) Good night (1116) Bad night (1630)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket

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  (720): o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket http://tfl.nu/nqxt
  Replies (76) Good night (38717) Bad night (1815)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!

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  (904): sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut! http://tfl.nu/fz7u
  Replies (31) Good night (5763) Bad night (618)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."

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  (404): I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard." http://tfl.nu/a58r
  Replies (13) Good night (4210) Bad night (576)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.

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  (540): she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated. http://tfl.nu/qt45
  Replies (32) Good night (757) Bad night (8960)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.

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  (515): Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/mtdi
  Replies (6) Good night (3088) Bad night (717)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.

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  (636): No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from. http://tfl.nu/d5gf
  Replies (4) Good night (963) Bad night (2929)
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  (578): View more from

  oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.

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  (578): oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home. http://tfl.nu/mth9
  Replies (13) Good night (1064) Bad night (3229)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.

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  (732): wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip. http://tfl.nu/kp6r
  Replies (10) Good night (3383) Bad night (866)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips

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  (850): Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips http://tfl.nu/pmcc
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (838)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment

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  (775): At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment http://tfl.nu/1isz
  Replies (5) Good night (782) Bad night (265)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.

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  (202): I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever. http://tfl.nu/g05z
  Replies (0) Good night (650) Bad night (167)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.

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  (915): I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers. http://tfl.nu/kpt3
  Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (270)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.

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  (815): Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again. http://tfl.nu/i74s
  Replies (3) Good night (172) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)

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  (616): with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;) http://tfl.nu/170o
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (146)

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