i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce