if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later