I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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