If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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