just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize