Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize