I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
