I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
