His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
