Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
