I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
