Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
