PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
