You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
