butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
