Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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