Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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