he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
