I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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