I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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