It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize