OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I cockslap morals
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
