Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I wish I only lived at night.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
