Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
