i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
