i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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